This bit of gratitude is somewhat complicated.
I had a friend call me today searching for advice on how to deal with nausea in pregnancy. Or really, hyperemesis gravidarum. As you likely know, because I'm very vocal about my distress, I had hyperemesis with each of my pregnancies, and it was bad. I was miserable. I can easily say that it was the hardest, worst time of my life. Being sick like that for days on end makes you incredibly depressed, not to mention all the physical side-effects that ensue (dehydration, weight loss, possible tooth decay, all that fun stuff).
So this friend asks me if I have any advice, and I say yes! I have loads of advice! But most of it didn't work for me. I just got to be sick. Even zofran was worthless for my first pregnancy (#2 was better, but still hard). I remember sitting in the Walgreen's parking lot, waiting for my prescription FROM THE ER to be filled, 30 minutes post intra-venous zofran, barfing up a saltine cracker into a paper cup. Not a happy time.
So the first part of my gratitude today is that this particular horror is over and done with for me. I made it through, and now it's behind me, and I might not ever have to do it again. (Maybe.) Is that weird? Being grateful that a trial is over? Well, weird or not, it's true.
But am I grateful for the trial itself? I'm not sure. I suppose I did learn and grow. I learned to rely on others for help. It's kind of a miracle that Julia survived when I was pregnant with Ella, and I can only attribute it to kind, kind friends who would take her every morning, or come and stay with me for a week or two to help out. KIND, kind friends, that I am eternally indebted to. I learned to rely on my Heavenly Father more. I certainly have more empathy for others. I guess I'm grateful for the lessons learned, but not the method of learning. I'd rather learn another way, thank you.
Like I said, kind of complicated. Really, it's what I've been thinking about all day. But there is some gratitude in there! Gratitude that we learn from trials, and gratitude the trial is over. EXTREME GRATITUDE that I'm not puking right now today.