Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Not a Good Day

Let me tell you about this morning.

This morning I woke up and packed a lunch for Clark.  I got breakfast for girls and everybody got dressed.  I took a shower while Julia and Ella watched a show.  I decided to go for a walk at the mall after dropping Julia off at school, so I packed my bag with the necessary snacks and water.  We were getting our coats on when I heard a car in the driveway.  In walked Clark.

My heart sunk.  I knew what this meant.

Today was lay-off day.  He lost his job.

Since we were heading out the door to take Julia to school, we didn't have much time to sit and talk about it (or cry, let's be honest).  We dropped Julia off and went for that walk at the mall together.  It was nice having Clark there, but I'd rather he had his job still.

We talked about things.  We have no idea what is going to happen, but it's almost certain we'll have to move.  We've been in our house for all of 3 months.  We've made 1 mortgage payment.

I know we'll be ok.  I just don't know HOW we'll be ok.  It feels like the very fabric of our lives is unraveling.  It will be put back together somewhere, but I don't know where.  Or when.  All day I've been trying to do normal things.  Make lunch.  Read to little girls.  Dishes.  But in the middle of it, I'll stop and remember the shaky ground we stand on, and it'll take my breath away.  I'll remember a small detail ("Time to sign Ella up for preschool!"), and then realize everything could change.  Probably will change.  We likely won't be here for preschool in the fall, and if we are?  We might not be able to afford it.  Julia was getting so excited for Kindergarten.  She'll still be in Kindergarten next year, but not with her friend, Jack.  We just moved.  We just moved.  And now we'll have to move again. 

The strangest part is I've had this feeling something big was coming.  Not good big.  Bad big.  It felt like things were going so well, and we weren't really being challenged enough.  I just knew something was coming.  In a way, this is a relief.  Loss of a job is preferable to death of a loved one.   But it's still hard.  The uncertainty is almost more than I can bear.  I'm such a planner.  You'd think that by now that would have been drummed out of me, but no.  I need a plan.  I thrive on a plan.  I guess the Lord wants me to rely on His plan a little bit more, and let go of my plans.

Anyone know of someone hiring a Crystal Growth Engineer?

16 comments:

Elizabeth Glenn said...

I am so sorry. If you ever need help and are like, "Who should I ask to help me?" Ask me. I'd be happy to do whatever I can for your family! Love you!

Sabrina said...

My heart just sank when I read your news. I wish there were more I could do. I have no doubt Brett is already looking at possible opportunities for you here but I am sure it would have to be something a little different than crystal growth. It could be worse, sure, but this is a substantial trial. Of course you'll get through, but you definitely deserve to shed some tears about this. Love you and your family. Heck, you are like family to us. We're saying lots of prayers for you!

Kay Hinton said...

Oh, Shannon, I'm so sorry. I'm sitting here crying, wishing I could help. I guess all I can do if agree that it will be okay. This just happened to a friend. He lost his job and then their little girl nearly died, but they got a new job in Texas and are SO happy there. It seemed like the end of the world at the time, but they now see it all as a blessing. I'll pray for you!

Jedda said...

I'm here for you too. This makes me so sad!!

Gretchen said...

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this Shannon. This just breaks my heart for you. We'll for sure be praying for you guys all the time over here at the Schmidt house. If you need ANYTHING- someone to do dishes, someone to just hang with and cry, someone to watch the girls while you go clear your head, whatever- PLEASE don't hesitate to ask me. Please. I'm here for you.

Nat and Holly said...

Shannon, oh my goodness. I don't even know what I could say to make things feel less shaky for you right now. I guess all I can tell you is that I know the Lord has a plan, but man is it hard to remember that when things like this happen. I will be praying for you and for Clark. I hope things can work out so that you don't have to move again. Hug your sweet girls for me and hold them tight. Thank goodness you have your family and you are together through this. Love you!

StGeorgeJosh said...

I am so sorry! Meg and I talked about it after reading Clark's FB post, and we both agree that the Lord won't leave you stranded, you two are such good people!

Meg and I have been in your very shoes. I can't give you advice as you already stated it perfectly in your last sentence, "I guess the Lord wants me to rely on His plan a little bit more, and let go of my plans." It's still not easy though.

You two have alway's been an instrument in the Lords hands since we've known you. I imagine there are some pretty neat things in your future.

Jennie said...

I've been in your shoes. Literally. Except it was a phone call while I was walking in the grocery store to get milk. Husband got laid off and needless to say I turned around and walked out with no milk. Things were dreary, but somehow we survived better than I could have ever expected. Even emotionally, which I dreaded. Some of our closest friends said we would be better off. It frustrated me when they would say that. The temporary needs were piling up. But, guess what?....It was true. Life has a funny way of making us suffer for what seems like forever to suddenly realize things are better than ever expected and we are breathing easy again. Much love to your family. Clark is a smartie and will no doubt find a great job again. Hang in there!

Mindy said...

Shannon! There are no words. My heart is breaking for you guys. And,let's be honest, a little bit for me. And a little for Jack and Julia. This just sucks. I'll talk to you soon, and I'll try really hard not to cry (at least while I'm talking to you).

James and Talai Macfarlane said...

So sorry. Thinking of and praying for you guys.

sweetpea said...

I'm SO, SO sorry, Shannon. It REALLY stinks, there's no other way around it. I'm just going to pray that when you get out of the darkness, come into the light, and then look backwards, that it ends up being the exact right thing.

If you need someone to scout jobs here in Texas, let me know (seriously)...I would love to have you here!!!

XO

Judy said...

I love you and I'm praying for your family.

Soper Family said...

That stinks! I am so sorry. I know you and your family are the best of the best, and I hope and pray that you will have peace at this time and that another opportunity will present itself shortly!

Melissa said...

I'm so sad. You have a wonderful family. We will be praying for you.

Karen said...

I'm slow responding, but I finally got a chance to catch up on fb and blogs. I feel for you Shan!! When Justin lost his job in 2011, it seemed like all hell was breaking loose! We really were blessed despite all the challenges we went thru. I hope each day is getting a little better! We are praying for your family!

Christy said...

Hey, so I'm just catching up on your blog and sad to hear the news about Clark's job. But I had an epiphony - I don't know what a Crystal Growth Engineer is (but points for, like, the coolest job title in the world), but I'm sure Delta needs one :)

Its all part of the plan so we can be neighbors still and raise our kids together. Seriously though, let us know if Clark would be interested in tapping contacts down here.

And your girls are (as always) awesome and adorable. Glad to see how well they are doing!