Tuesday, February 05, 2013

I feel fine

I feel like I posted the big, bad news last week, and then sort of left you all hanging. 

We are doing fine.  Things are getting better.  I still have my moments when I want to shake my fist in frustration at the heavens and ask why, but they are generally short-lived.  In fact, let me share my journal entry from last Wednesday:

"I shall now list the little bits of awesome from my day:
  • I got to sleep in until 7:30 on a weekday and not feel guilty.
  • Julia showed her teacher the "books" she made.  Complete with hand gestures.  Couldn't be prouder.
  • Heard a Guster song at the grocery store.  Proceeded to sing in the aisles and look like a fool.  But a happy fool.
  • Julia's comment after getting the free cookie at Meijer: 'They always have the BEST cookies here.'
  • Both girls ate dinner again, with minimal coaxing.
  • Dinner was DELICIOUS!  And healthy.  Win-win.
  • Took a luxurious shower at night, with no time constraints.
  • Watched the Netflix movie we have had out for weeks, The Big Year.  And enjoyed it.
  • Heard a Guster song in the movie.  
  • Lots of messages of encouragement from friends.  Texts, emails, facebook messages, blog comments.  The works.  (There really were a lot of these.  And they were exactly what I needed.)
  • Flowers from a friend.
  • Finding a scripture that felt like it was written for me in this moment."
There were a lot of tender mercies that day.  Thursday we went to the temple.  More tender mercies, from the friends who watched our kids to the people from our ward working at the temple that day.  I have felt an outpouring of love from all the friends we have.  People asking what they can do to help.  People offering to pass along Clark's resume.  People offering to pass along MY resume, if it comes to that.  It has restored my faith in humanity, really.  People are good.  People are kind.  People want to help.  And, perhaps most importantly, I feel so loved. 

So, in summary, yes, this is hard.  No, this isn't the worst thing that could happen.  And we're doing fine.


alisquire said...

You're amazing, Shan! Even your last post sounded fairly optimistic. Love you and good luck with everything!

Judy said...

You really are loved.

Sabrina said...

I am so glad you are feeling loved! I am certain lots of prayers have been made and continue to be made for your family!