Sunday, January 17, 2010

Good Grief.

I just want to feel normal again. I want to wake up and feel GOOD, and not puke, and be able to get my daughter her breakfast, and get us both dressed before 11am. I want to take her to the park and the library. I want to feed her a nutritious lunch, and get her down for a nap. And then I want to clean my house, and possibly work on other projects, before she wakes up. I want to be able to cook dinner. I want to go grocery shopping again! I want to plan our meals! I want to take care of things so my husband can relax when he gets home from work. I want to go for walks. I want to go to the gym. And it would be a bonus perk if I could sleep at night, instead of laying awake at 4am, praying that I can just fall asleep and make the nausea go away. I want to be able to do all these things. And most importantly, I want to feel happy. Like everything is right in the world.

But I don't. I feel like garbage. Nothing is right in the world. We're just barely cutting it (and that is with the massive amounts of help we've received). Yes, this is better than last time. Yes, things have improved over a month ago. But seriously. I hate this. It makes me want to scream. But I don't have the energy to scream.

Perhaps I'll feel better in 2 weeks. Please tell me I'll feel better in 2 weeks!

11 comments:

Cheryl said...

Oh, poor, dear Shannon! I feel like a rotten friend. Pregnancy is awful, and yours is one of the worst. :(

Julia is coming to my house on Wednesday 9-12ish. That's a statement...not a question!

and PS: don't feel like you can't call me (text me) to come get her before then too!

Condie Family said...

Shannon, you'll feel better in two weeks.

Alex said...

I'm sorry!!! This too shall pass!!! Praying for ya!

Sabrina said...

I hope it's over sooner than 2 weeks! I am sure it feels like an eternity right now though. You're in my prayers.

Judy said...

You're in my prayers Shannon. I wish i could do more to help, but consider this a hug through the internet. Luv ya.

asm said...

Oh Shannon, all i can think of to say that would be at all comforting is, it will end.

Aryn has been a terror lately, so I've thinking frequently about this quote "Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves.

That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love. The ideal God holds for us is to form families in the way most likely to lead to happiness and away from sorrow. A man and a woman are to make sacred covenants that they will put the welfare and happiness of the other at the center of their lives. Children are to be born into a family where the parents hold the needs of children equal to their own in importance. And children are to love parents and each other.

That is the ideal of a loving family."

President Henry B. Eyring, General Conference Oct '09

I think you are doing this and showing Julia an amazing example of sacrifice.

Shali Huntley said...

Sooo Sorry Girlie, I want you to be happy too. Just think about the baby that is to come, yeah!! I really hope and pray you will feel better soon.

alisquire said...

Oh, Shan! You poor dear. I wish we lived closer. That was so great of Bean to come help. Hang in there! Try and think about swimsuits with galoshes or something humorous like that. Maybe I'll have to start sending you daily photos.

meg said...

i am so sorry you feel so crummy... and if in two weeks you still feel so crummy i will come to your house so we can feel crummy together (oh, that is if the new meds i am on allow me to drive) love ya and miss ya!

Celeste said...

Oh shannon. I wish I could fix it. I'm so sorry that it's so stinking hard!

Karen said...

Oh how I wish I could come take Julia off your hands for a while! We are ALL praying for you here!