I just want to feel normal again. I want to wake up and feel GOOD, and not puke, and be able to get my daughter her breakfast, and get us both dressed before 11am. I want to take her to the park and the library. I want to feed her a nutritious lunch, and get her down for a nap. And then I want to clean my house, and possibly work on other projects, before she wakes up. I want to be able to cook dinner. I want to go grocery shopping again! I want to plan our meals! I want to take care of things so my husband can relax when he gets home from work. I want to go for walks. I want to go to the gym. And it would be a bonus perk if I could sleep at night, instead of laying awake at 4am, praying that I can just fall asleep and make the nausea go away. I want to be able to do all these things. And most importantly, I want to feel happy. Like everything is right in the world.
But I don't. I feel like garbage. Nothing is right in the world. We're just barely cutting it (and that is with the massive amounts of help we've received). Yes, this is better than last time. Yes, things have improved over a month ago. But seriously. I hate this. It makes me want to scream. But I don't have the energy to scream.
Perhaps I'll feel better in 2 weeks. Please tell me I'll feel better in 2 weeks!
Surfing Sunday 12.17
12 hours ago