Christmas Eve Rumination

This holiday season has been a little rough. Not only have we had regular life swirling around us, with the violin lessons and play rehearsals and work and school and church callings, but then we've added in Christmas traditions and parties and performances. On top of it all, I got pretty sick on December 10th. To say I never get sick would be false, but generally I get a cold or a stomach bug that passes pretty quickly. I rarely get sick like I did this month: sore throat, fever, chills, achy muscles, headache, cough. I was sick enough to miss a day of work, and then I lost my voice which made more an exciting few days in the library (it's hard to read books to kids when you can't talk). Even up until the 20th I was feeling pretty miserable. I also managed to develop pink eye, because of course I did.

This is all to say: I spent most of the Christmas season feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

I so enjoy Christmas. I enjoy the cozy feeling of love and peace that settles over me as I sit and look at the tree, or sing Christmas carols, or read scriptures with my family. I was too tired to sit and not sleep, had no voice for singing, and while we did read scriptures, it felt like a chore to talk about what we were reading. It felt like a chore to stay awake, for heaven's sake. Not to mention, when you're sick, a lot of other things fall to the wayside, like making meals and doing dishes. Christmas is a time of great food and I had no appetite!

This morning, Christmas Eve, I woke up at 5:30am, after dreaming that we were at the airport and my purse went through security, but I was being driven across the airport. (I rarely travel, and yet I have the worst airport dreams all.the.time.) I figured since I was up, I might as well take a few minutes to pray, and to listen. (I often get the words out, but don't often sit and listen for a response. I'm working on it.) I prayed to feel more of that Christmas joy that I'd been missing this year.

Immediately I thought of one of the songs my ward choir sang this year, Come Lord Jesus. It's a song I had never heard before (I guess it's from Savior of the World: His Birth and Resurrection), but the words went straight to my soul and filled me with that joy and hope that had been missing:

1. Come, Lord Jesus, to the manger;

May we see thy tender face?

Great Creator, here a stranger,

Infant in this humble place.

Darkness scatter, morning swell;

Come, dear Lord Immanuel.

Come, Lord Jesus, to the manger;

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

2. Come, Lord Jesus, to the wounded,

Broken heart and bended knee.

Worthy Lamb, thy love unbounded,

Bid our souls to rest in Thee.

Come in glory to the earth;

Come to us to rule and reign.

Ready us to kneel and greet thee;

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

3. Come, Lord Jesus, great Redeemer,

Light of morning from the East.

We will be Thy children ever;

Dry our tears, all weeping cease!

Come in glory to the earth;

Come to us to rule and reign.

Ready us to kneel and greet thee;

Come, Lord Jesus, come!

I mean, isn't that just beautiful? Our Savior came to scatter darkness, to dry our tears, to give us hope! This, right here, is what it's all about, not just Christmas but LIFE. 

That peace and joy I feel every Christmas did come, just a little late in the season. Now I feel ready for the holiday, ready to spread love and peace and hope and joy. Ready to welcome Him into my home and into my life. Come, Lord Jesus, come!